Only if they would walk faster..

There is a difference in how we see things- always judging people and how the "mature" people do- supporting us throughout.

I am happy that I have gained some flab (thanks to my compulsive eating at home) and so can work on it. So, I was ready in my jogging attire- bands, new shoes :), plugging the ipod and I was good to go. In fact I created a new playlist of all the songs which would make anyone groove. After a few rounds of warming up, I made those feet run faster and I was finally jogging. But what are these grandmas and pas doing..coming in my way, derailing me. Only if they would walk faster! But now what happened. I cant feel my legs. That burst of energy is gone. After a few minutes, I was just dragging my feet and panting (the music now was drone to my ears). So embarassed I was now just walking. I heard two girls giggling and I smiled thinking "Yes I know you are laughing at me. And you are sympathetic, I would have been more cruel in such a situation".

But then I heard words of encouragement. Someone was saying "Shabash shabash". It was an old lady sitting on a bench. And I was ready to start again :)

Brush with reality

There are some moments which make you realise that you have yet not seen life. This incident is one of them.
I was teaching some kids. I get some kicks out of that. So one evening I was going through a Payal's art book and there was a note from her teacher "She has not completed her colour filling exercise". For no good reason, I lost my temper. Even on my repeated questioning she didnt give me any reason for not completing it. I punished her by not talking to her again that day. When I told the same to her mother, she answered me with amusing eyes that they cannot afford her crayons at this time.
I was dumbfounded. How could this simple truth escape me? They were probably affording her education with great difficulty. And Payal was very much sensitive to the financial situation at her home.
I have no clue till when will she be able to continue her education or what use if any will be this little erratic education about alphabets and art to her.

I Miss..

Insti Parties- I attended them only in my second year. But miss the free flow dancing and freely flowing beer bottles, getting drunk, fighting with friends, being dropped back by the same friends, holding myself to tell them I am fine and then dropping with a dhadaaaaaam, waking up late next morn, sitting at Fauji, apologizing for the fights picked up and best of all-always being forgiven :)

Late night walks- Discussions hovering around Who is taking a walk with whom were always savoured with much interest! I avoided them for the fear of losing the few kilos I had gained. Nevertheless, it used to be another activity where I would unload all the secrets (of others ofc)

Back to Back Movies- I still laugh hysterically on the kind of movies we have watched that too in theaters. To name a few- Dhol, Saawariya, Rama Rama Kya Hai Drama, Apna Sapna Money Money et al. But we always had a great time. Commenting out loud and as if it was not enough to have wasted time on watching them, discussing them over and over.

Sleeping- Imagine cushioned seats, drone of some professors discussing Business Environment or Economics or Legal Aspects of Management, air conditioned and curtained class rooms and above all a seat at the end of the classroom, doubled with Rajdeep (turbaned sardarji who used to sit right in front of me) protecting me from the eyes of professors-yes the first year was a heaven for sleeping in classes. Though I never slept in the second year-there was too much time to sleep in room.

Festivities- One amazing thing about IIMs is the way every festival is celebrated. Though the main attraction for everyone was the special menu on these days ( for me yum cakes), but somewhere the spirit of these also caught up with us.

ABOVE ALL MY FRIENDS

Regrets

I find it hard to regret anything that I have done with my life. Choices come -acknowledged by some, denied by others and unnoticed by many and when you have knowingly or unknowingly made them, where is the room for regret? As long as there is no poverty of opportunity, for good or for worse, I would never regret anything
:-)

Shared Happiness

3 AM, dark still night, just lying on my swing with my fav music. The experience was ethereal. But I am no poet who can transport the happiness and peace I felt in words. And so began a train of thoughts which broke the calm and set in a melancholy.

Happiness is in a moment. It flies when you spread your hands to catch it. May be thats the reason that only the happiness shared with others has any memory. The rest are just fleeting moments which dont leave any mark or impression on your heart. You experience them to forget them. Someone has to share the same time and (almost the same)space with you for it to be immortal. And that's exactly the same reason we like to experience grief alone. We want to banish it forever from our memory.

Well, it may not be possible to share your moment with someone every time but the next time you feel it, just send a message to your beloved ones in an attempt to share the sublime happiness with them and to let them know that wherever they are, they are being missed :-)

har mulakat ka anjaam judai kyun hai
is jahaan mein malik teri khudai kam kyun hai

Starting out again

I had resisted change all my life. That included being phobic of new software upgrades, cynical of people I met, even to the extent of being psychotically attached to my spectacles, dryer and pens. Thats because new things never worked for me and strangers always disappointed me! But the ironic thing is that lately I am being thrown into the situations where encounters with new people and experience of new things cannot be averted. Each time I think that this is where my life would become stable, this is where my journey ends, I have to make a new beginning. For the kind of person I am intrinsically, I am sure that I have fared decently.

All said and done, today change has become the monsoon skyline for me which lifts my spirits when it has the density of a marble.

So, heres raising the toast again to a new road that awaits me.

This reminds me of a song by Whitney Houston.....
Well there's a bridge and there's a river that I still must cross
As I'm going on my journey
Oh, I might be lost

And there's a road I have to follow, a place I have to go
Well no-one told me just how to get there
But when I get there I'll know
Cuz I'm taking it
Step By Step, Bit by Bit,
Stone By Stone, Brick by Brick
Step By Step, Day By Day, Mile by mile

And this old road is rough and ruined
So many dangers along the way
So many burdens might fall upon me
So many troubles that I have to face

Oh, but I won't let my spirit fail me
Oh, I won't let my spirit go
Until I get to my destination
I'm gonna take it slowly cuz I'm making it mine

Step By Step, bit by bit,
stone by stone, brick by brick
Step by step, day by day,
mile by mile, go your own way.

Say it, baby, don't give up
You got to hold on to what you got,
Oh, baby, don't give up,
You got to keep on moving on don't stop.
I know you're hurting, and i know you're blue,
I know you're hurting but don't let the bad things get to you.


I'm taking it step by step, bit by bit (bit by bit come move),
stone by stone (stone by stone yeah), brick by brick
Step by step,day by day,
mile by mile, go your own way!

Giving a Face to an author?

Would I ever read another work of V.S Naipaul? Despite all I heard and read about his brashness and irritabilty, I considered his works detached of his personal failings though not absolved of his personal experiences. But now between me and his work sits a man who admits to have tortured his wife. Now the same author has a face which repels me.
Can I leave one aspect of life of this person and appreciate his other? Should I appreciate his works inspite of the fact that as a person I may not hold any respect for him. But who am I to make judgements about some other life which I have not experienced. So, the next time I hold his book in my hands, I would try to forget the author and evaluate just the words my mind comprehends. Though I reckon this will be hard.