Why is grief more powerful than happiness?

Somehow today I kept thinking about grief and happiness.
The most striking and cruel part is the way happiness is in a moment. It's attached to a particular place and time. It can't be transported to another time and space. Though sometimes, you may be taken to past, thinking about the good times. But in the end, you are left wondering and longing-to live once more in that moment.
And grief! It travels with time. It can fill your space, time and life too. It is not transitory in the least. You fight it or accept it. In either case, it fills your life.

In happiness we resist change. Life is perfect at the moment. But grief has the power of shaping our destiny. Why are we the way we are? On reflection, the only answer that comes to my mind is that for good or for bad, my life and probably everyone else’s too is shaped by those moments when we were not feeling at the top of the world but when tears were rolling down our cheeks, when prayers were on our lips and when we were desperately searching our souls for some hope.

Even after so much said and preached, I know the next time I am surrounded by dark clouds, it would take me a long time to see the silver lining. But, I hope to have the strength to see it through everytime

Life with no external disturbance

The first day in ages when for the whole day I switched off my cell phone, disconnecetd myself from the internet and put a DND sign on my door. Didn't attend any class too. In short, a peaceful existence for a day. So, did I enjoy? Its amazing but the answer is yes I did (a lot). There were no stupid calls asking me "what is in mess?" and "do u have this song?" and no equally insane "hey, how u doing?" pings. Moreover, it was a very fruitful day!
Lately, the temptation of just leaving everyone and everything and being absorbed in myself is growing. But then the fact that I am (just) 24 and have to be atleast independent financially before I can give in to such pursuits.
But, when I can, thats going to be the kind of existence for me. Amen!

Beautiful in retrospection

Why does everything you hate while experiencing, turn beautiful in retrospection later? I had hated my stay in Bangalore and Mumbai but now I count it as one of the very lively experiences? The only answer which makes some sense to me is that in present you are too busy trying to live, trying to take each step and be on your own. The brain and heart do not work in tandem to let you enjoy. But then when you later ruminate, you dont have to take any decision, everything has happened and now your heart is at an ease to actually live the experience while your brain is at rest :-)

I Vs. We

It as at times like these-nothing to do-that force me to think is being single the best way to waste your years! I mean when you have freakingly ablsolutely nothing to exert your energies on, would you rather like to waste not one but two souls' time.
Well may be yes. But eventually it ends up being 'WE' rather than me or you. Miraculously you start like doing the same things, the world stops existing for you and there's just one number on your speed dial! Then there are the hard core singles who like to hang out with as many people as they can manage and are always available for everyone..in short keep their options open :)which if they could would never close.
Both lifestyles are tempting and wish you could have both depending on your whims..Nasty thought huh??

Freedom of Imagining Life

Am writing after a long hiatus. I am not even sure if I have something to write about.

Just came across a phrase-"Freedom of Imagining Life" and it instantly caught my fancy. I remember as a child I would become anything and everything I felt like in my thoughts-from a watchman to a doctor. Years passed by and I lost touch with that wonderful flight of fancies. The life now was restricted by the choices made by me and enforced upon me. Even my dreams lack imagination. I have a very fair idea of what is in store for me. I wish I could change that and even if I am able to live a tiny bit of the kind of life I dreamt of, I will consider myself fortunate.

Males, Females and Non-Males

I usually hear this word: Non-Males- a lot at IIM. And each time, it gets on my nerves. Why are people so hypocrite? We put in as much effort as any damn f******* guy there! And if we are pretty, we hear..ohh its cos of the looks that you are here and if we are not then we are non-males.
It takes to be a man to live as a woman. No words, no act and no tears can make anyone understand the quantum of courage we possess.
Pardon me if I come across like a staunch feminist. I am for the equality of sexes. We are good at different things and here I would like to quote a friend's (Kushal) words-
"the fact that women empowerment is being attempted in itself proves that they are unequal in fact, i never understand the concept of men and women being equal. arrey bhai, they were not meant to be equal at all. agar equal hi banana tha, to kudrat ne khud hi equal bana diya hota apan kyo itni fight maarte hai. the problem is not the fact that women are incapable of doing some of the work men do and vice versa the problem is, we have classified the work that men do as superior"
My ears are straining to hear more such views. Anyone??

A Perfect Relationship?

The idea of a perfect relationship sits deep in every ones heart and I am not just talking about the over rated emotion of love. We all wish for a certain someone-be it our family or friends, who understands us without our having to speak a single word. Each person has her own emotional idiosyncracies. This longing is constantly fed upon a dose of movies and melodious songs. But the earlier we realise that this is just wishful thinking, the more are we ready to make an extra effort to make things work. I do not intend to say that dont dream about any such occurence, for dreams are the constant source of strength which help us get through life. But to be able to differentiate between the dreams and reality is the real test of maturity.

I have an opinion about everything!!!

Dedicated to a friend's friend I have always hated. May be now she will why

Everyone of us must have at one point or the other come across a highly intelligent breed of people who always seem to have an opinion about everything. I do, everyday. It just leaves me thinking how can a person know everything, from theology to politics, to the extent to believe that what you think could not be wrong! Such people tire me ad infinitum. More than the knowledge, how can people be concerned with and interested in everything? There are some things that I just dont care about, they dont affect(effect,whatever is the correct word) me in the least. May be its just me whose cranium is so small and hard as not to be stimulated by each and every stimulus!

Struggle

Dedicated to a friend to help him see why I dont feel guilty

Ever felt an emotion that keeps the heart still with the fulness of peace. Why does the burden of responsibility or commitment come in the way of happiness? There is a constant strife between what ought to be and what one is creating. The world demands a lot from you and you constantly struggle to provide it. Either you challenge the system or you stiffle yourself by alligning yourself with the 'what ought to be?'. Like most of us, I come in the latter category. You just stop caring about what you desire because it wont be accepted by anyone. Somewhere down the line, in the shadows of pretenses, you forget who you are. You think you ought to feel guilt in case you give in to your desires once in a while. But I dont. May be I have that much confidence to accept who I am. Once I give in to what I want, I have never felt remorse. And this blog is a step forward to let the world know who am I and accept me as I am.